are just a few items I have found over the years which have
helped me in supporting my own child and the children I care
for and work with. You may find some useful or you may already
be putting them into action.
You Can Support Your Child In School
• Listen to your child reading for approximately 10
minutes each day.
Help your child to check his/her school bag each day so they
have all the equipment they need for lessons.
Run a target reward scheme to help them achieve results at
Praise on task behaviour and ignore safe irritating behaviour.
Encourage school attendance.
Provide quiet time and a place to complete homework and study.
Help with researching topics by suggesting where they can
look for it.
Encourage your child to find something they enjoy reading,
even a comic, to foster pleasure from reading.
Spend a few minutes each evening to ask how their school day
Encourage your child to make use of the Homework Club available
through the school.
Encourage your child to join activities and clubs outside
of school. This can help promote independence and increase
Encourage your child to keep a diary or journal. This helps
with spelling and increases vocabulary use.
If you have work or study to do, try to do this in a communal
area in the home so you encourage by example the importance
of carrying out tasks/homework.
To Increase Your Child's Self-Esteem
them on a regular basis that you love them.
them that you are glad they are your child.
When asking them to do tasks around the home, give them
an example to follow. Take the time to teach them the steps.
It’s unfair to expect that they will know how to fold
their clothes or make their bed if you haven’t shown
them how to do it.
Set aside time to spend with them. Even if it is for a quick
game of cards or to ask how their day went at school.
Look at them when you speak to them. This conveys respect.
Look at them when they speak to you. This conveys, What
they are saying is important.
When they tell you about something that happened, ask how
they feel about it. Listen to their answer.
When you ask a question, don’t interrupt when they
are answering, disagree or criticize their answer. This
teaches them that it isn’t safe to be candid and may
make them edit what they tell you.
Give them a reasonable amount of responsibility. This promotes
Say no when you need to. Kids need to know there are limits
and they don’t always get what they want.
When you say no, explain why. When you say yes, explain
why. This helps them understand the whys.
a positive example with your own behaviour. You can only
expect them to behave with dignity and self-respect if they
see you doing it.
you lose your temper or make a mistake, apologise. Say that
you are sorry, be specific about what you are sorry for,
and give them a chance to respond.
activities for just the two of you. Ask them what they would
like to do.
them a private space where they can express themselves and
respect their privacy. Knock first before entering their
When you are giving feedback, describe specific behaviour.
For example, “I like the way you tidied your room”
or “You still need to pick up the towels off the floor.”
When there is a problem, focus on the issue, not the child.
For example, “You could complete the last 2 questions
and then it’s done” is more constructive than
“You never finish anything.”
Let them make choices for planned meals out, days out or
activities and then do it! This shows you respect their
Ask them to go with you on errands just because you want
to spend some time with them.
Give them a hug regularly. Even if you are late… a
hug takes just a few seconds to show someone they are loved
and cared for.
Look up and smile when they walk into the room.
Look for ways to maintain your own self-esteem. If you are
unhappy, discontent, or disappointed in how your life is
turning out, it will be difficult for you to help build
your child’s self-esteem.
Every child needs to be the object of a parent’s undivided
attention on a regular basis.
Be yourself. Tell the truth.
Be appropriate. You don’t have to say everything that
is on your mind or tell them things they aren’t ready
to know. It’s sometimes easy to treat them as your
friend when you are lonely but remember; they are a child
and as such need to be protected from some information until
such time it is fair to share.
If you show that you accept yourself and your actions, you
give permission to them to do the same.
If you are divorced or separated don’t swear or bad
mouth the absent parent. Your child has a right to love
both their parents just as you and your ‘x’
have a right to both love your child. Your child will thank
you when they are older for having had the chance to grow
up knowing both parents.
Learn What They Live
If children live with criticism,
they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they
learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.
If children live with shame, they
learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they
learn to be patient.
If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.
If children live with acceptance,
they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with honesty, they
If children live with security, they learn to have faith
in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness,
they learn the world is a nice place to live in.
Dorothy L Nolte (1954) The